Loneliness

Everyone needs time on their own now and again - even those who are very social. Some people feel very happy this way. But sometimes you will feel some sadness about being alone. You might want to spend more time with others or wish you were closer to others.

It’s helpful to know that loneliness is just a feeling, not necessarily a measure of time spent socialising or number of friends you have. But there are also things you can do to feel less lonely. 
 

What causes loneliness? 

When someone feels lonely, there is probably a mismatch between the relationships they want and those they have. Feelings of loneliness can also be linked to:  

• A change like moving house or starting a new school 

• Being away from friends and family 
• Feeling different to the people around you 
• Having an illness or disability 
• Losing a loved one or ending a relationship 
• Being bullied or abused 

Social media can also contribute, if used in the wrong way. Social networks allow you to connect with others. But they can also make you feel more distant from your peers - if you see friends doing things without you, for example.  
 

What are the signs of loneliness?  

If you’re feeling lonely, you may:  

• Not talk about having friends 
• Be quiet or withdrawn 
• Lose your appetite 
• Say you have no one to sit with at school 
• Use social media a lot but never out with friends  

• Be sad for no obvious reason 

 
How can I stop feeling lonely?  

Try having a chat with a parent, carer or trusted adult about positive relationships. They can help you to know it’s OK to be alone sometimes. Simply spending time with an adult you trust can help you feel loved and more secure.  

 

If you’re worried about feeling lonely: 

• Remind yourself that loneliness is a feeling, not a measure of how many friends you have or how much time you spend interacting socially.  
• See if there are any local clubs or activities that you could join.   
• Reach out to friends you haven’t spoken to in a while for a friendly chat. 
• Pay attention to how social media affects your mood. Try spending a little less time online if it makes you feel worse. 

 

Tips developed by Action for Children and Young Minds.